Coping with Coping

Today is not going so well. I didn't sleep very well, and since I put myself back on fluoxetine, my dreams were very vivid. Only they weren't good. They weren't nightmares or anything, but they were disturbing enough that I felt emotionally crappy in the morning.

And then Em and I were short with each other this morning. And I was so cold. I couldn't get anything done. I put on thick socks and my favorite sweatshirt, curled up under two blankets and the down comforter with the cat, and shivered. Of course I fell back asleep, but I am feeling more rested (and warmer) now. I brushed my teeth for five minutes to get the wretched taste out of my mouth, and I'm good to go.

Three hours til Em wants to come home. Hopefully I can get showered and to the post office before then. We'll see.

I'd given up on this blog. So much so, that I never even got around to coming back to tell you (if there are any of "you" left). If anyone wants to un-blogroll me, feel free.

However, I think I'm going to try this again, but with a different focus. Or maybe, more of my original focus. I have not, lately, been coping very well with just getting through life, which has led me to not cope very well at all. I don't want to just get through my life. Getting up every morning, showering and going to work is a start. And I couldn't make it that far last summer. But I can now, and I want more. Or rather, I was doing pretty well for a while, but it's getting harder now. And I realized that I've got to like what I'm getting up to do to make rolling out of bed possible for me.

So, I've decided to keep this as a record of my struggle to find my vocation and to put more emphasis on the rest of my life and less on my job. This is going to be my pulling myself out of this rut diary. A recovering from depression blog. Sure sounds like a good read!